Good news! Obama isn’t out to kill grandma after all. He’s just threatening to hold up her social security check. … which would mean she can’t buy groceries. … which means she’d go hungry. … and grow weak. … and … and … OH MY WORD!! Obama is trying to kill grandma — again!!![Insert collective sigh here.] Seriously? Obama is threatening to hold up seniors’ August retirement checks? What a piece of work. That he’s seriously going to give grandma the shake down (or at least shake her up) in order to try and force the GOP to go his way on the budget is sad, indeed, especially when one of the ways he can save money is by cutting his pet project, Planned Parenthood.
But let’s be honest, grandma’s a better target. She’s the classic sympathy picture — old, living on a fixed income, and needing our help. She’s dependent on us, and if we don’t come to her aid, she’ll die. The president’s just in an awful predicament. Naturally, he doesn’t want to do it. No. Not at all. It’s not his fault. It’s the big, bad GOP that wants to cut and cap spending and balance the budget. Darn those Republicans.
And it’s not like the president can cut funding for abortions or anything. I mean, why rile up the feminists? Mercy no. We’re not that far gone yet. Better to target grandma, for pity’s sake. The young, virile, liberal-headed, Obama-voting college sweethearts need access to abortion more than Republican-leaning seniors need food anyway, right?
Hope and change: In with the new. Out with the old folks. Shame on you, Mr. President!