THOUGHTS
This week my grandson asked me an interesting question about marriage. He asked me why people didn’t keep their promises. He told me that half of the kids in his class were from divorced families and he was worried about that. Left unsaid was the question . . . will my family be one of the statistics too? Will I have to deal with the logistics of several sets of parents, being shuffled to and fro between parents, and having to deal with having to choose between two people you love.
I tried to reassure him that he didn’t have to worry, but society has placed a huge burden on our children by its failure to keep promises to each other in marriage. An implied promise that our children need to be able to trust is that we will protect and nurture our children in safe secure cocoons of stability in a God-centered marriage.
Marriage is an "on-earth" picture of the union of Christ and His church. Now I understand that secular America really does not want to be reminded of that, and, to be honest, neither do some Christians. Christians are divorcing pretty much at the same rate as society these days according to Barna polls and that is a shame. It is to our shame that we have allowed this to happen . . . to set up a scenario where our children who look to mom and dad as examples of promises kept see broken promises instead. It is a shame on the church as a body.
We, as a group of believers tell society that the promise of eternal life in Christ is sure; but when we don’t keep our own promises that truth is a mockery in the eyes of unbelievers.
In the debate about "gay marriage," those who advocate for it point to Britney Spears and her short-lived union and to divorce statistics and ask why we say that marriage is so important when we treat it with such flippancy?
The truth is that marriage as a covenant before God is important; it is the most important institution in a society. The fact that the culture has undermined its importance and even Christians have bought into the secularized version of marriage does not mean that marriage is bad; it means that we have demeaned and devalued it ourselves.
Instead of devaluing it further by adding any combinations of groups, it is about time that we seriously looked at strengthening it.
Government should be encouraging men and women to stay together for the sake of society and for the children.
No-fault divorce has not been the panacea that legal experts touted; instead it has left more and more families without fathers and mothers and has increased the numbers of families in poverty. A father or mother under no-fault divorce feels free to leave without consequences. Children are left to the courts who work out complex "parenting plans" that usually leave the kids in a tug of war or without one of the parents in their lives.
My grandson is right to be worried; he needs to be worried about a culture that doesn’t value promises. The only ones who truly know that faithfulness and self-sacrificing love are Christians; that love has been poured out in us through God who is perfect love. We need to appropriate that river of love flowing through us in our own relationships so that we can present the world with a shining example of hope.
Keeping promises is tough sometimes, and sometimes we do fail in our commitment but that does not mean that we cannot work for some sort of restoration and re-commitment of our desires to be faithful to our promises.
The children and the world are watching.
In Him,
Judy Smith
State Director